Back to Blogging

Thankfully, even though I have not blogged for a week and a half, I have been on track with eating and exercise. Unfortunately, I don’t have time for a long post now, but tomorrow I certainly will. I think I would like to blog daily, however, it takes a lot of time – time that I could be on the treadmill! Anyway, just a few things on my mind right now:

I am more than one hundred percent certain that my biggest weight loss obstacle has always been that all-or-nothing mentality. Once I mess up, I feel like throwing in the towel. I think that’s because I don’t want to face the fact that I haven’t done as well as I could have, so I just don’t think about it at all by completely giving up. I feel like I have really made some headway in that area in the past 4 and a half weeks. However, that feeling came back today. I ate a pastry at work that I could have passed up without drawing attention to myself. It was a moment of weakness paired with that unexpected opportunity to eat something I really like, and I just gave up. I felt so frustrated with msyelf after I ate it. I really did feel defeated, so to speak. It wasn’t so much the 300+ fattening calories I consumed that bothered me – it was the fact that I completely gave in when I knew I should not have. It’s still irking me, and it’s very hard to forgive myself and move on.

That said, I will forgive myself, learn from my mistake, and move on. In that vein, I’m making specific goals for tomorrow:

  1. To eat nothing except what I have pre-planned. If I am TRULY hungry (which is possible if I work out for a long time) I may eat fresh grapes, 100 calorie popcorn, or vegetables.
  2. To go to the Y and complete the Couch-to-5k week one day two.
  3. To blog.
  4. Not to make any plans to go anywhere (besides the Y) tomorrow night. I need the time to pre-plan meals and get the house and things in order so I can have the time to workout, since I have a busy weekend ahead.

One more thing, it is SOOOOOOO very hard to be patient with the weight loss. It feels like I will NEVER get to a noticeable loss. My clothes aren’t even fitting differently yet. I started this on 9/8/08, five weeks and two days ago, and I have lost 5.6 lbs total. Just barely over one pound per week. At the rate it will be about another TEN WEEKS before I’m able to notice the difference in my clothing. I really hope that my new plan (which really isn’t that new, and I’ll write about it tomorrow) will speed that up.

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  1. #1 by Tara on October 9, 2008 - 1:43 am

    Pastry incident could have been worse. Did you get right back on track for the next meal? I didn’t used to be good at that, but so far, I have always got right back into it after a slip up this time around. Hopefully that continues. I think what’s motivating me is knowing I have a deadline and that I don’t have time to mess around, or all this money/work will have been for nothing (well, not nothing, because I would presumably at least be thinner, but not as thin as I would want).

    I think pre-planning, or at least pre-cooking is key. I don’t write it down, but I always have hard boiled eggs on hand– when I buy a dozen, I immediately boil six of them, and I always cook my meat on the weekend for the upcoming week (I eat the same meat all throughout the week, just in different ways (like one day a taco and another a taco salad, or chicken sandwich and chicken on a salad). I also make up stuff for breakfast. You can freeze a bunch of french toast at once, or I make the cheesecake thing out of cottage cheese, and it feeds me for 4 breakfasts.

    Anyhow, I think you are doing AWESOME on the exercise front. I just don’t have your dedication in that area. Also, I think it’s good that it gives you a goal– your freshman year, training for the mini marathon was what made you slim down so much. You tend to do be very driven/perfectionistic (blessing and a curse), so maybe having a goal like the 5K thing will really keep you on track for the long term. I walked to ross ade to my car today– proud of myself, and not nearly as far as I thought it would be. I’m going to do that from now on unless I’m in a super hurry (two days a week) or if it’s raining or freezing my nose shut when I breathe in, lol.

    Anyway, you are doing well, I think. Don’t let the pastry get you down. What type of diet plan are you doing now?

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