Archive for December, 2008
As I said yesterday, all I have time for is a quick update. I did okay today. I started the morning late, didn’t have time to prepare breakfast, was unusually quite hungry, so I got an egg and cheese biscuit from Burger King. (haven’t done that in a long time) Narrowly avoided vending machine snacks until a few mins before the end of the day when I succumbed to a Nutri-Grain bar. I’m telling you, those things are so tiny, after you eat it you feel no less hungry than before you ate it, and they have 140 calories. That’s a lot of calories for a bunch of nothing. Other than that, the day went pretty well eating wise.
I only have time for quick update. I’ve been extra busy lately. Also probably won’t catch up on my blog-reading until Saturday (then I should actually have the whole day free, which I’m excited about – a free day – exercise, lots of blog reading and posting, serious cleaning, fun projects!) Anyway, today went pretty well. First day in a long time that I had no chocolate. I stuck to my food plan. No time for exercise…honestly, my next time for exercise will be Saturday. However, my eating will be fine, so I’ll still lose a little this week. And I can live with that.
Well, this is my one hundredth post. I feel like I should celebrate. And I’m 18.4 pounds lighter than I was on post one! If I weren’t in a hurry I would go ahead and say something reflective about how blogging has fit into my lifestyle change. However, I’ll save all that for later.
Today, believe it or not, actually went quite well. I followed all my plans, started journaling every bite of food, exercised for an hour, and trashed all the possible junk food temptations in the house. I feel very positive about having a loss this week! Anyway, we had a Christmas party at Uno’s (where I consumed 1300 calories – amazing how quickly those cals add up at restaurants). I love that Uno’s publishes very clear and detailed nutrition information. I looked at that ahead of time and was prepared to order the healthiest thing I could – their stuffed chicken breast with a side of broccoli and mashed potatoes. But I only ate half of the potatoes. I had planned to forgo the breadstick, but it was so good! All the calories were because we had appetizers and dessert. The hour long workout today counteracted that. Plus I had a low cal breakfast and only had a yogurt for dinner, because I was not too hungry after the big lunch. I’m thrilled to be back on track. And I’m ready for tomorrow’s challenges. Which will be fitting in a workout before I go to church and getting some extra housework/cooking done so that I will have time to workout on Wednesday (an even tighter schedule).
Total cals eaten today: 1709
Cals burned through exercise: -581
Net Cals: 1128
So did anyone notice that last week was “Week 10” and this week is “Week 14.” Probably not, but in case you did, I’ll explain. Yes, I do know how to count. Whew! – you should all be relieved to know that the person designing nuclear power plants knows how to count (along with a few other mathematical things)! Anyway, I had “restarted” my weight loss after the third week so I started back again. But since then I have realized that there’s no such thing as restarts. And if there were, nearly every week would be week one again. I don’t want to wipe the slate clean every time I mess up…it’s all part of the plan. Besides, my body doesn’t negate all the extra calories, just because I arbitrarily declare a restart.
Anyway, not too much in the way of stats this past week, as I did not journal my foods and only (dare I even say this – this may be the worst yet) exercised two times for 30 minutes each. Better than nothing. And a positive step considering how in the past I would allow the all-or-nothing mentality overcome me and not even bother exercising any at all because I couldn’t do it as much as I thought I needed to.
Okay, on to what you really reading to find out. I lost 0.6 pounds this week, and I’m thrilled with that. I was afraid I would gain, with how little I exercised and how poorly I ate. I think my continuing to try in spite of many mistakes has really helped me make it through the last couple weeks without a gain. This week, however, I am really trying for a more serious loss.
To quickly summarize the day, I did okay eating wise. Again, (I’m starting to sound like a broken record, aren’t I?), nothing terrible, nothing great. I have given myself another pep talk…the you have to make sacrifices to win, and which do you want more, etc. And I’m super determined to do the absolute best I can this week. I need a week with an actual loss in order to make it through the holidays.
Anyway, the goal. And I don’t really know why this is such a big announcement. I just want to put it in writing. My goal for this holiday season is officially to maintain. My goal is for my weight on the Monday following the holiday season (Jan 5) to be the same or less than it was the Monday preceding Thanksgiving (11/24). Yes, that’s about 6 weeks of maintaining, but that’s okay. In January I will start losing again. I’m currently 1.6 pounds under where I was before Thanksgiving. In order to accomplish this goal I will need an actual loss this week, which is doable but there is a long list of challenges that I will face (another work party, dinner at a friend’s house, houseful of guests for dinner, lots too do, little time for exercise, etc). Also, I will need to keep some control during my biggest challenge of the year – being home for 9 days.
Okay, the confession. Do you recall my recent post entitled Bakeaholics Anonymous? Well, besides everything I said there about love being true, there’s something else. I browse foodgawker.com on occassion. And, for some reason I thought you had to be someone really special in order to post a picture on there. Well, come to find out, anyone can submit a photo and it will be posted if they judge the quality to be good enough. So, when I took photos for that baking post, I thought the photo wasn’t all that bad (imho), so I decided to submit the photo to foodgawkers. Well, they rejected it because of “lighting/shadow issues.” Me, not being much of a photographer (although I would love to learn), can’t see the lighting or shadow issues even though they pointed it out. That being said, I have now become determined to take at least one photo in my lifetime worthy of being posted on that website. That ambition in and of itself, although rather silly, is not a terrible thing. However, the great lengths I am going to in order to accomplish that is absolutely ridiculous and rather dangerous to my healthy eating! This morning I actually baked a new brownie recipe for the SOLE purpose of being able to take a picture in the natural sunlight to submit to foodgawkers. Seriously, what is wrong with me!? I was just ferocioiusly determined to take a good picture. Well, I ended up choosing a rather long and complicated brownie recipe that used half the dishes in my kitchen. And the whole process start-to-finish (baking, clean up, picture taking, etc) took nearly two hours – two hours that I could have used to do something that was actually useful. And then, to top it all off, by the time the stupid brownies were actually baked, the sun wasn’t shine as well, and the pictures didn’t turn out well – even worse in my judgment than the last one that foodgawker rejected. And, of course, I sampled the batter and a brownie. And now there are brownies in my house. I plan to freeze them, but if the temptation starts to overcome me, they are going into the trash. The other bad thing is that I probably have $8.00 in them – all that may be in the trash. But that’s okay…I’d definitely being willing to pay $8.00 to save several hundred (maybe thousand) calories, so that’s the way I’ll look at it if it comes down to that. Okay, well I have confessed. Now you all know. The one other thing I should confess is that I had a rather large “sample” of the brownies – and they weren’t even all that wonderful.
So I got up today and was NOT in the mood to exercise. I don’t know why. I actually had time to do so, and there was no reason not to. I simply was not in the mood. I think the fact that I have not exercised much in the past couple of weeks contributed to my not wanting to go. Honestly the more I exercise, the more I want to exercise. And the less I exercise, the less I want to exercise. It’s the domino effect that I was talking about yesterday. I also think the fact that I haven’t lost weight in the past 3-4 weeks makes exercise less exciting. It’s more motivating to exercise when I think that I’ll soon be in a smaller size – it’s harder to find the motivation when I’m just maintaining. However, I went to the Y anyway. I just had to pretend to be my own mother and force myself to go. Often, once I’m there and start exercising, I get in the mood. But today I didn’t – I had to force myself through the whole workout. But I did get in a good workout. And I think it was good for my mindset that I went and did it.
Eating front was okay today. I had one of those Steamfresh Meals for Two for lunch which was really good – had a lot of chicken in it and these very soft and tasty noodles (but not too many.) I was eating dinner at a friend’s house tonight. They had taco salad – not the most or the least diet friendly thing. I did have some dessert. Didn’t pass up the chocolate.
Well, another day is over, and I’m still hanging on. But just that – nothing more. Weight is holding steady . . . eating is involving some good and some not so good. Calories are hovering above 1500/day. But I’m still trying. And in the past I would have thrown in the towel, eaten upwards of 2500 cals a day, and gained a good 5-10 pounds before the year was over, so this is progress. It is. But I still need to give myself a little peptalk:
I think I said this a couple days ago, but it’s like I want to have my cake and eat it too. I want to lose weight and be able to have lots of indulgences as well. And that’ won’t happen. I have to be willing to give up something that I want for something even better. Which do I want more? The momentary satisfaction of a few bites of dessert or the lingering satisfaction of knowing I overcame the dessert and that I’m reaching my goals? I mean, really, it should be a no brainer. And the other thing is this: even if when I do give in to the dessert, I still want more. When I’m done with one piece of chocolate, I simply want another. If anything, eating one bite of something only makes it that much easier to say yes to the next bite and so on. The flip-side, though, is that making a good decision makes it that much easier to make another good decision and so on. The domino effect. And I haven’t had much positive momentum lately (my own fault, of course). That’s why I’ve just barely been hanging on. Every chocie I make is a fight instead of using momentum. But every choice, every bite counts. That’s why it’s so important to keep avoiding the chocolate…not only do I save those calories, but I’m making it more likely that my next food decision will be an even better one!