Okay, so before you panic because of the title and think I’m throwing in the towel, I’m not! Quite the opposite, actually. And this is a post I’ve had in my head since Monday when I first really got back on track (so pretend that I’m writing then). In short, for a brief history of my recent weight loss to give you a little perspective, I started this most recent “weight loss journey” in the beginning of September. I lost steadily until Thanksgiving for a loss of about 15 pounds (in about 3 months). From Thanksgiving through just a week ago (also about three months) I essentially just maintained my weight, although I fluctuated up and down about 5 pounds. I considered the maintaining through the holidays a true accomplishment. However, I have no excuse for not getting back on track with the losing in the beginning of January.
I’ve lost weight many times (and regained, of course), so I know how hard it is. And I know how easy it is to get sick of it. The limiting the tasty foods, the always exercising, the counting, the journaling, the planning, the analyzing, the constant worrying, the bypassing the chocolate, the bypassing even more chocolate, the feeling guilty after a slip-up, the constant getting back on track, the focus, the energy … yeah, it gets old. And, yeah I get sick of it sometimes. Maybe a little burnt out – especially after being on track for a few weeks. I was reminded of this when reading a friends blog post recently. She, by the way, has lost over 60 pounds in the last 6 months and has less than 20 to go to get her final goal. So I would definitely call her successful! But this is what she said recently in this post that really struck a chord with me: “I’m just getting sick of being on a diet. It’s not dreadful, but it’s very confining, and sometimes I just want to go have fun without worrying so much. ”
Well, you know what, last Saturday (when I read that), I realized that I felt exactly the same way. But not about being on a diet! About being totally (or mostly) out of control with my eating! I was sick of it. Absolutely sick of it. It’s miserable. The constant worry, the always feeling fat, the nagging voice telling me I should be doing better, the lack of confidence, the lack of control, the icky feeling of too much junk food, the sense of hopelesness. I think what motivates a lot of us to change is that we feel far worse about being able to eat whatever we want and never exercise than we feel about having to plan, count, exercise, and sacrifice a few things we’d like to eat. I’d much prefer to be sick of being “on a diet” than to be sick of being out of control. What about you?