I’m sick of this!

Okay, so before you panic because of the title and think I’m throwing in the towel, I’m not! Quite the opposite, actually. And this is a post I’ve had in my head since Monday when I first really got back on track (so pretend that I’m writing then). In short, for a brief history of my recent weight loss to give you a little perspective, I started this most recent “weight loss journey” in the beginning of September. I lost steadily until Thanksgiving for a loss of about 15 pounds (in about 3 months). From Thanksgiving through just a week ago (also about three months) I essentially just maintained my weight, although I fluctuated up and down about 5 pounds. I considered the maintaining through the holidays a true accomplishment. However, I have no excuse for not getting back on track with the losing in the beginning of January.

I’ve lost weight many times (and regained, of course), so I know how hard it is. And I know how easy it is to get sick of it. The limiting the tasty foods, the always exercising, the counting, the journaling, the planning, the analyzing, the constant worrying, the bypassing the chocolate, the bypassing even more chocolate, the feeling guilty after a slip-up, the constant getting back on track, the focus, the energy … yeah, it gets old. And, yeah I get sick of it sometimes. Maybe a little burnt out – especially after being on track for a few weeks. I was reminded of this when reading a friends blog post recently. She, by the way, has lost over 60 pounds in the last 6 months and has less than 20 to go to get her final goal. So I would definitely call her successful! But this is what she said recently in this post that really struck a chord with me: “I’m just getting sick of being on a diet.  It’s not dreadful, but it’s very confining, and sometimes I just want to go have fun without worrying so much. ”

Well, you know what, last Saturday (when I read that), I realized that I felt exactly the same way. But not about being on a diet! About being totally (or mostly) out of control with my eating! I was sick of it. Absolutely sick of it. It’s miserable. The constant worry, the always feeling fat, the nagging voice telling me I should be doing better, the lack of confidence, the lack of control, the icky feeling of too much junk food, the sense of hopelesness. I think what motivates a lot of us to change is that we feel far worse about being able to eat whatever we want and never exercise than we feel about having to plan, count, exercise, and sacrifice a few things we’d like to eat.  I’d much prefer to be sick of being “on a diet” than to be sick of being out of control. What about you?

  1. #1 by Tara on February 8, 2009 - 9:28 pm

    Interesting perspective. It is true– I feel much less “confined” being on a diet than I did when I was fat– the always feeling bad about myself, etc. Also, this was the first time that being fat had affected my lifestyle– I literally couldn’t talk to someone while climbing stairs, and there were simply some activities I wouldn’t have been able to do or keep up with others while doing it.

    Interestingly enough, I too have found an unexpected renewal of determination. Today was perfect. I even ate my spinach instead of the applesauce. I think I’m feeling that since it’s almost over, I can stick it out. In just a few weeks, I’ll be counting calories, and I’ll be able to eat applesauce or peanut butter or whatever else I want (as long as it’s under the calorie limit that is), but for now, I can handle stuffing down the veggies while I have to. Bottom line– their diet does work. For whatever reason, it really does work, so I might as well just follow it and finish strong. I certainly worked hard enough for it thus far.

    Anyway, glad to hear you’ve found some more determination. You seemed highly determined before, and that’s coming through again in your posts, so way to go!

  2. #2 by Joanne on February 8, 2009 - 9:37 pm

    Hey laurajane, thanks so much for the comment on my blog! Weight loss is really hard and you’re right, it can feel really confining at times. I found that the more adventurous I got in cooking, the less scary it all seemed. I discovered so many new foods that I still love eating and the more healthy foods I incorporated into my diet, the less I wanted to eat any of the bad food. I, like you, counted calories during my weight loss and found this to be really effective. I still count every so often to make sure I am on the right track. I also allowed myself to splurge every once in a while. My roommate and I went out to dinner once a week while I was losing weight, and I really don’t think it affected that much as long as I made healthy-ish choices. The thing I always try to remember is that one day can’t make you gain weight in the long run. It’s so easy to lose sight of this, and you don’t ever want to get so neurotic that you can’t go out and enjoy yourself. Good luck with everything and feel free to contact me if you need a virtual hug, have a question, or for any other reason. And check out my blog for some easy, healthy recipes!

  3. #3 by Sharon on February 8, 2009 - 11:20 pm

    I totally see where you are coming from. And you do make a valid point about it. I think balance is what we all need. Dieting is just restricting, and not letting yourself really enjoy eating. So, hell with that, and eat your chocolate but balance it out with some fruits + vegetables!

  4. #4 by Kristina on February 9, 2009 - 4:22 pm

    You’re right. It is much more appealing to be sick of dieting than to be sick of being overweight, unhealthy, and humiliated by your appearance.
    I needed to hear that.. because I’ve definitely felt sick of micro managing my eating these past few days. Thankfully, I’ve managed to stay on track (or at least very close to it), but it seems to get harder the longer you go without caving.
    I just need to remind myself why I’m doing this, how far I’ve come, and where I’m going.
    Grats on maintaining through the holidays… I totally fell off the bandwagon around that time, but I’m back on with vengeance, and I have to admit… most days it does feel really good to be doing the right thing.
    Stay strong chikadee!

  5. #5 by Fitness Surfer on February 9, 2009 - 11:32 pm

    I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes i get that feeling when I’m sitting (usually eating) watching TV and suddenly see myself from a distance and say the same thing…”I’m sick of this”. One time i told the hubby what i thought and we did sit-up and calf raises during the next two commercial breaks. Funny but fun =)

  6. #6 by FollowMyWeigh on February 10, 2009 - 1:55 am

    omygosh me too…these past couple weeks i’ve seriously been feeling SICK of just all the “whatever” eating. I really missed feeling on track – not just the physical part of feeling good in my body, but even the act of it! i’m so relieved to finally feel more in control..

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