Archive for April, 2009
Another creative title.
If you noticed, I didn’t blog yesterday. Fortunately, it wasn’t a bad sign. I did well yesterday. And I did okay today, although I didn’t work out when I theoretically had the time. I wanted to get the house cleaned, and I haven’t quite gotten it completed yet. I think I have recovered from Tuesday’s night’s baking incident. I’m still not thrilled about it or anything, but things don’t seem quite as dramatic now. Today was so unexciting that I think I’ll just tell you about yesterday – it wasn’t exactly “Alexander and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” but it didn’t go smoothly either.
Anyway, the morning starts out with me hitting the snooze buttona about 58 times more than I should have. I soon as I get up, my mind immediately jumps to the delicious chocolate, orange muffins that are still sitting downstairs on the kitchen counter from the previous evening’s baking incident. I decide to deal with that immediately. I trek downstairs, eat the top off a couple of the muffins (just to make sure they still taste good, I guess), and then trash all the muffins. Right in to the trash. So there’s no possible way I can eat one (or many) in a moment of weakness. They’re gone and I can put the whole thing behind me (or so I think). By this point my house is a TOTAL disaster. I mean total disaster. Can’t find anything. All a mess. And I hate that. I like to have everything in its place. Well I get of the shower and realize I don’t have a towel in the bathroom because I had washed them and had delayed in putting the laundry away (that’ll teach me). That wasn’t fun. Then I had to try on three different outfits to find one that I could actually wear to work without looking like a pregnant hippopotamus. I usually lay out my outfit the night before so I don’t have that problem and so I have to iron whatever needs ironed and stuff like that. (I’m telling you, that baking incident really threw me off.) I start off to work, barely get in the car and realize I forgot my laptop that I had to move out of my way to walk out the door. Run back inside and get it. Then I’m going down the road and my trunk flies open. I pull off the road and close it. Back on my way. Almost to work when I notice that there is small SPIDER that has made a small web ON my actual steering wheel – yes, on the very steering wheel that I must put my hands on to turn the car – an actual spider. Seriously! I’ve never heard of that. And you can’t exactly stop controlling the car to kill a spider on the steering wheel. Luckily I was almost at work when I noticed it, so I didn’t have to endure very long.
When I get home from work, the boyfriend is coming over to eat a quick dinner and then we have plans. Well, he probably thinks I’m crazy now. When he knocks on the door I’m upstairs in my bedroom with one shoe on one foot and madly searching my room for the other which is buried under a pile of clothes. I find it, and concerned that I’d taken so long that the boyfriend was gonna think I wasn’t coming to answer the door, I rush out my bedroom and down the stairs. And in the process I knock off my little laundry basket of dirty clothes, and it topples head-over-heels down to the bottom of the stairs, leaving a trail of unmentionables behind. I quickly gather all that up and take it back upstairs. By the time I finally answer the door, I’m laughing uncontrollably because of all that had happened and because the mess was starting to make me crazy. And I was so scatter-brained I had forgotten about dinner. Then the boyfriend goes to throw something away and sees the muffins in the trash! Whoops! Should have thought about that and covered them or taken the trash out. He (who loves to eat and never gains an ounce) says, “Oh no, why would you throw food away, don’t you know I would have eaten it.” I quickly replied, “Oh, trust me, they were a disaster.” And they were a disaster – for my hips.
…I must confess.
So after I blogged about today (Tuesday), I did something stupid. I made very sweet muffins (may as well have been cupcakes). Now why did I do that? Why don’t I learn? I snacked on some batter. As always, it’s hard to measure something like that – you always think you’ve eaten less than you really have. I did only have half a muffin or cupcake or calorie-laden-baked-good or whatever-you-wanna-call-it. Will I EVER learn!!!? This really reminds of the last time I asked that question on this blog, and a million times since then in my head. And the root cuase of the problem (WARNING: DO NOT click the link if you don’t want to be confronted with a picture of a brownie): Bake-a-holics Anonymous.
I wish I knew the answer. It’s not that I think I really had too many calories today or anything like that – it’s the principle of the matter. I cannot successfully lose and maintain a decent weight if I continue to regularly bake high calorie things. Period. I know that. Today I managed to have some self control and I had worked out a lot and eaten lighter most of the day – but some days I would snack more on the batter or the finished product, and I don’t burn 700 calories working out all the time, and it wouldn’t have stopped me if I hadn’t worked out today and if I had already eaten enough.
And everytime I make this mistake, I tell myself that I need to learn from it and move on. But I never permanently learn from it. I learn some things, but then I’m still back here making the same stupid mistake again and again.
You know, I’m an engineer designing nuclear power plants – you’d think I’d be intelligent enough to figure out that I should not bake high-calorie things juts for fun – you’d think!
Not a whole lot to say for today. Did alright eating wise. I did get another pretty long workout in. About 73 minutes – burned 670 calories, so not too bad. I did both the elliptical and walking on the treadmill. I think it really helped that TLC’s “What Not to Wear” was on and I watched it, so it helped the time go by.
Well, the morning started out in a flurry. First of all, the past two nights I haven’t slept well at all – as in waking up several times and not falling back to sleep immediately. I think it’s because my bedroom is upstairs, it’s been close to 90 degrees the past couple days, and I’ve been keeping the house at 50 degrees at night (when I’m sleeping under the electric blanket), so it being so warm in my bedroom was a huge change that my body wasn’t used to. Unfortunately it’s going to get cold-ish again. Oh well. I did try to turn the air on this evening to cool things off before I went to sleep, but the air does not work at all, so there went that idea. I will call maintenance tomorrow and see if there’s anything they can do to fix it. Anyway, as a result of my sleeping problem I completely slept straight through my blaring alarms (well, one is really loud, the other isn’t quite so loud) – never even heard them. If I’m really tired, I really have a hard time with my alarms waking me up. Anyway, I had an 8am meeting at work, it takes a 43-47 minutes to get there (depending on how I catch the lights), and when I woke up it was very light, so I immediately knew something was wrong. I looked at my clock, and it was 7:06am!!! Wow! I leapt out of bed, washed my face, brushed my teeth, put my foundation on in record time, threw my hair into a ponytail, tossed on my clothes, grabbed the breakfast egg muffins I had wisely prepared for just such an emergency and a can of diet pepsi, and dashed out the door – at 7:17am – a mere 11 minutes after I woke up. I don’t even think I was fully awake. I made it to my meeting pretty much on time. Luckily it was a really informal meeting that I didn’t need to prepare for or anything.
When I got home this evening, I went to the Y, and did a very serious workout. I really worked hard on the elliptical – 62 minutes with an avg heartrate of 183 and burned 730 calories – I was really flying. It felt good to workout like that – I should do that more often! I think the extra sleep actually helped me there.
Now I have a confession (actually confessions) to make. Here’s the story:
- So on Tuesday, after having “fallen off the wagon” for a couple weeks, I recommit to Plan Number 333,200
- Then on Wednesday, I have a pretty good day, and decide to try a new approach for the next four weeks: Ditching the scale and the calories
- Well, on Thursday, I manage to do avoid my huge chocolate cravings but it’s extremely difficult and all I can do is just keep fighting with myself and barely struggle through
- Then on Friday things go much better, I avoid the chocolate and it’s not such a big struggle and I even turn down the boyfriend’s suggestion to go out for dessert and come up with a great healthy alternative
- Saturday comes and I make a great choice by avoiding the Midnight Truffle Blizzard at Dairy Queen and I don’t feel too deprived! I started to feel a little more confident
- If you noticed yesterday (Sunday) I really didn’t post anything about my day. I merely posted my menu plan for this week with no commentary. The reason: I went out of my to go to Dairy Queen and get a Midnight Truffle Blizzard. I decided that it had been a while since I’d had a treat, so I would have one. In retrospect, I still think that was an okay decision. One treat a week or so I think is reasonable and realistic. However, everyone had the same idea since it was such a warm day, and I had to wait in line at the drive-thru for over 30 minutes! I guess it serves me right. And while waiting I saw a lady who outside in the back of her pickup truck eating a blizzard herself and feeding an cup of ice cream with a spoon, bite-by-bite to her DOG!!! Unbelievable! I’ve never even heard of that. It was plain vanilla ice cream. That can’t be good for the poor dog! And with a spoon, politely eating a small, people-sized bite.
- Well, today, I have no excuse. I just plain gave in. While at Target buying my Lunchable (since I obviously hadn’t had time to pack any lunch this morning), I grabbed a white chocolate-almond-coconut-truffle, covered in dark chocolate candy bar (400 calories total). I told myself I would eat only a 1/4 of it. By the time the day was over, I had eaten the whole thing. When I got home, I ate a decent sized portion of a piece of chocolate cake, just because. Then I got a hold of myself, hightailed it to the gym, and worked as hard as I have in months and burned off 730 cals in 62 minutes. Feel much better and a lot more in control at the moment. But that still begs the question, how do I solve this fundamental problem. I definitely think this not counting calories is a good idea for me right now. I need to work on these fundamental issues of not giving in when I want chocolate/dessert/whatever without such a huge struggle every time – counting calories does nothing to help that – in some ways it just masks the problem, because, had I been counting calories today or yesterday, they would have been okay.
I feel like all this needs a better conclusion. I do have a plan which I will blog about later this week, but I have to go to bed now so I can actually wake up in the morning!
Here’s my menu for this week complete with a 5-minute backup plan. Instead of getting derailed when unexpected things come up or when I’m in a hurry, I’ve come up with a plan for that. I can almost always spare 5 minutes, so I’ve got a plan for a back-up for breakfast, lunch, and dinner if I should need it.
5-minute Backup: Egg muffins (new recipe I just made)
Mon: Cheese Omelet with pepper
Tues:Cheese Omelet with peppers
Wed: Cheese Omelet with peppers
Thurs: Cheese Omelet with Peppers
Fri: Cheese Omelet with peppers
Sat: Probably nothing for breakfast, since I start out my morning with a workout and then eat lunch
Sun: Cheese Omelet with peppers
5-min Backup: Turkey and Cheddar Lunchable
Mon: Southwest Turkey burger
Tues: Salad w/ boiled egg and freshly grated cheddar cheese
Wed: Southwest turkey burger
Thurs: Southwest turkey burger
Fri: Southwest turkey burger
Sat: Stuffed chicken
Sun: None (I eat more like brunch on Sunday)
5-min Back-up: Kashi frozen dinner (250 cals)
Mon: Meatloaf made w/ lean turkey
Tues: Spinach/artichoke stuffed chicken breast and green beans
Wed: Salad w/ boiled egg and freshly grated cheddar cheese
Thurs: Spinach/artichoke stuffed chicken breast and green beans
Fri: Not sure, probably cooking dinner for some ppl
Apples w/ caramel dip
Frozen berry cups
Check out Menu Planning Monday for more meal planning ideas.
Sorry, this is Friday’s report. I wrote it yesterday and thought I published, but it didn’t get published. So today’s (saturdays) report is the post below this. In other words, in chronological order, this post should be earlier.
Wow, after a rough day yesterday and several near misses with chocolate, today went much better. For no reason, really. The biggest real struggle was wanting to snack this morning at work, because not much was going on. I did want some M&M’s but I avoided them.
I tried a “new” way of working out today. I worked out with a friend who lives far away on the phone. She was walking outside and I was doing a workout video. So we were just chatting and keeping each other company. It made the time fly by! We were out of breath at times so it was a little a hard to talk a couple times, but it went pretty well. I actually have an extra copy of the workout DVD I was doing, so I’m going to mail it to her and sometime we will do the same workout while on the phone.
I also turned down dessert tonight without even feeling deprived or without it being such a struggle. My boyfriend was coming over tonight and as soon as he got here (seriously, it within 30 seconds of his arrival), he said, “I was thinking we could go out for dessert tonight.” And I just said I didn’t think that was a good idea for me. I needed to go to Aldi anyway so we went there and he got some ice cream cone things with peanuts on them (I think they’re a generic version of drumsticks). Anyway, was not a problem for me since I don’t like peanuts at all. While he was eating that I had some apple w/ caramel dip (which I already had portioned out in an individual serving).
I think the calories eaten for today were about 1400 and I burned 400 with exercising so that’s not bad. Even though I’m not “counting” per se I’m still using calories as a basis and sometimes I’ll mentally add things up.
Another creative title, huh?
Today went well. I started the morning off with a trip to the Y. It was a beautiful day – almost hot, actually. Anyway, I did exercise for 70 minutes, but not as hard as usual. I am really NOT a very good morning exerciser, even if I had plenty of sleep. I really did have to force myself through the workout and my average heartrate was about 145, and it’s usually between 165-175. Oh well, I still burned 550 calories, and I did it. I also feel like I got some decent exercise the rest of the day, because I was on my feet nearly all day.
Then, the event I’m most proud of – the boyfriend and I stopped by Dairy Queen this evening. And Dairy Queen has for this month only the best blizzard ever – midnight madness (vanilla swirled with fudge with chocolate truffle pieces.) I blogged about this fabulous blizzard a couple weeks ago. So of course, I want that stupid blizzard. I thought about it, and decided instead to order a vanilla-orange bar (which is sugar free and only has 60 calories). The surprising thing is that it didn’t even bother me that much. I wasn’t dying for the good blizzard. I was pretty happy with the 60 calorie vanilla-orange bar – it was truly very good and hit the spot for the ice cream need. I think it actually helped that I’m not counting calories. If I were, I would have calculated and realized I could fit the 600 calorie blizzard in and stay in my calories – but then I wouldn’t be able to eat anything else all night. Instead I thought about it differently: I thought about how I’d already had high calorie treats last weekend and on Monday. And so I didn’t need it, and I don’t want to establish the habit of getting a DQ blizzard everytime it’s hot and I’m outside. That’s a bad habit. I needed to find something else.