Don’t you love my creative title?
Anyway, today went okay, I suppose. I think this no-numbers thing may prove to be far less stressful for me. My biggest challenge for the day was that I kept reaching for something sweet. I don’t know what it is, but if I don’t have something sweet after a meal, I feel like the meal just isn’t done. I can’t tell you how many times to do I instinctively went to get something sweet and had to stop myself. I had more close calls with chocolate today, than I imagine most normal people have in a year. (slight exaggeration, possibly). First, when I was in the grocery store, I actually bought some chocolate – obviously a stupid move. I ate one piece, then wisely decided to trash the other three pieces before they ended up in my mouth. Once today I counted out the change for the vending machine to get some M&M’s and then threw the change back in my drawer before I could do something stupid. Tomorrow I’ll have to make sure I don’t have any money with me at my desk just to be extra sure I can’t do something stupid. Then on my way home from work, I actually stopped at the grocery and went inside for the sole purpose of buying chocolate. I got a hold of msyelf and raced back out of the store without so much as a sidelong glance at the chocolate. So then, I go to a friends for dinner (thankfully, no dessert there, and in reference to yesterday’s post, the dinner was very healthy – tilapia and green beans – I asked. before I went. I wouldn’t have gone if it weren’t healthy. I admit I did have some mac-n-cheese there, though.) Then, on the way home from there, I headed to the grocery store for some chocolate – this time I only made it as far as the parking lot before thinking better of it.
And I tried eating fruit but it didn’t help – I ate a banana, an apple, and orange throughout the day. Just isn’t an adequate substitute for chocolate. Don’t know why today was such a struggle, but at least I fought my way through. I hope tomorrow is easier. It may be. But I know from experience some days will be like this and there is nothing to do but keep fighting it.