Fresh Start Number 333,201

A mere two weeks ago I was excitedly posting about New Plan Number 333,200. Well, believe it or not, it’s time for fresh start number 333,201 (although it’s still the same plan.) Basically I did not do so well over the weekend. I’m am really slipping into destructive thoughts and habits and I’ve been in the viscious cycle for several months now. I’ll do really well with eating/exercise for a week or two, then gradually I will start slipping, then I’ll just throw in the towel altogether, regain the weight I lost the last two weeks, feel really bad about it all, and then restart and do really well for a week or two, and so the cycle continues. I really want to break the cycle. Unfortunately I don’t know how to control me two weeks from now when the real test comes (and it will). I wish I could. I will say one good thing is that I didn’t let things spiral into weeks. I got right back started again. And if I’m on restart number one million and three hundred thousand by the time I get there, then so be it. I fell back into my old all-or-nothing thinking. And also to that “I’ll start tomorrow” and “Just one won’t kill me” thinking. I have to reframe that thinking. I really thought I had made tremendous progress last fall but now I seem to keep slipping back and back and back again and again.

All that said, I did do well today with eating and exercise. I feel like this week is going much more smoothly overall than last week. I am still continuing with my no-counting and no-weighing for 4 weeks plan. (I did weigh this morning, so I’ll weigh again in four weeks and see where I am.) I also had several thoughts about some of the things that are different now than they where when I really thought I “had it” back last fall, and I can’t wait to share. Unfortunately, I don’t have time now because I must go to bed. I’m trying this new thing where I go to bed when I get tired (if at all possible) no matter what I’m doing or what the clock says. (novel idea, i know – go to bed when you get sleepy – who ever thought of that?) I really, really had trouble getting up last week – as in sleeping through my alarm clock and not hearing it all, then having crazy, hectic mornings. It wasn’t good for my whole day, and also is part of what made it easier for me to give in to the food temptations and skip the excercise.

  1. #1 by Lola Fierce on May 4, 2009 - 10:30 pm

    Good! I’m glad that you got right back on the wagon. Its ok. Laura Jane, this is life…its never a straight downward line, its squiggly with some ups and some downs. Its ok!

    You dust yourself off and you try again. You know what you need to do, just do it. (And keep repeating your blog tagline to yourself.)

  2. #2 by Charlie Hills on May 5, 2009 - 7:06 am

    Fresh start number 333,201? You’re looking pretty good for 912 years old. 🙂

    Ms. Fierce is right though: you sum it up well yourself in your tagline, because that’s what it really IS all about. Hang in there, keep your head on straight, and you’ll eventually get it.

  3. #3 by MamaBearJune on May 5, 2009 - 3:03 pm

    Maybe you need to just PLAN for one day every two weeks of a “cheat meal” or whatever you want to call it. Are you feeling deprived of something? I think if you realize that it’s not a complete failure when you get right back on track, then you can realize that none of us are perfect and one bad day doesn’t have to derail you. And it doesn’t necessarily have to mean new starts all of the time. Not sure why you do that to yourself. When I lose a little weight, I get more motivated and want MORE losses! 🙂

    I know with the Abs Diet, he tells you to have whatever you want for one meal every week. Maybe if you know you have that to look forward to, it would be easier to stay on track the rest of the time?

  4. #4 by Sheryl on May 5, 2009 - 8:22 pm

    Take it day by day and even moment by moment if necessary. Together we will be this vicious cycle.

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