This Is the Song That Never Ends

This is the song that never ends, my friends. Some people started singin’ it not knowin’ what it was and they’ll continue singin’ it because this si teh song that never ends, my friends . . .

Do you remember that song from when you were a kid. It goes on and on and never ends. That’s how it’s been going for me the past few months. I can’t seeem to break this viscious cycle and you’re probably getting tired of reading about it. I do pretty well for a week, then the next week mon-wed I started doing worse but I’m still hanging on. By Thursday I throw in the towel altogether and go crazy. Then I restart the next cycle. It’s a viscious, viscious cycle that never ends. Well, today (Thursday) I definitely went crazy. Have I lost my ever-lovin mind? Now that I add it all up I literally ate a little over 3000 calories! (No, that’s not a typo I did say THREE thousand, yep THREE.) It’s amazing how easy that is when you are eating little bits of super calorie dense foods all throghout the day.

Well, guess what, my friends???

THIS SONG IS GOING TO END.

RIGHT NOW. N-O-W. NOW.  This is ridiculous. I’m a reasonably intelligent human being and I shouldn’t be letting this stupid cycle control me. It will stop now. Honestly, I’m at my wits end when it comes to figure out why this is happening. It seems like I’ve tried many reasonable approaches. I have struggled through like this for about five months. It has taken a tremendous amount of effort just to maintain this weight (even though I have a lot to lose – we’re not talking losing the last 10 or 20 pounds so I can fit into a size 6 or 8 – I’d love to be there, honestly.) This is the longest period of time that I have actually maintained my weight and been trying since I was about 12. I honestly don’t if I’m making progress or not. I don’t know if that’s good or bad. But I do know this: it stops now. Oh, and did I mention that I was ending this viscious cycle now???

So here’s the plan:

  • Go to bed early (be in bed by 8:45pm – I’m getting a cold, so I need a lot of extra rest)
  • Eat a healthy breakfast
  • Pack a healthy lunch and healthy, easy-to-eat snacks for work
  • Workout for whatever amount of time that I can find, even if it’s not a lot
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  1. #1 by Lola Fierce on May 15, 2009 - 11:48 am

    Its ok Laura jane. Do you track your menstral cycle? I swear I notice a significant amount of bloating / craving / lack of will power when I am menstrating or ovulating. Laura, that’s every other week! Seriously. It helps to know when I’m goign to be feelign that way so it doesn’t catch me off guard and so i don’t feel like so much of a loser when I start feeling like that.

    Track yours. Seriously…I bet it is affecting you more than you know.

  2. #2 by Tara on May 21, 2009 - 12:15 am

    I feel you on the cycle of restarting thing…I’ve decided enough is enough, too. The summer (for me at least) marks a new phase of the year, so I’m hoping I can shape up (literally, too) and fly right. I keep hoping it will be like that first summer you moved away when I was doing WW on my own and going to the gym a lot more often. That summer I lost about 3 lbs. a week while doing WW– that was really good for me, and this diet seems to go faster, so I’m really hoping I can make this work. My new program expires at the end of August, so now or never! Good luck to us both! I haven’t been on in a while (just posted tonight), so I was wondering how you were doing. Since I hadn’t heard from you, I assumed not too well… 🙂

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