Archive for July, 2009
Well, I honestly don’t remember the last time I posted. I’ve just been so busy. I’ve still be doing well on the diet/exercise front, but I just haven’t had time to write about it! My biggest mistake was the dessert I ate on Sunday – it was a lot of calories and not even that tasty at all. I shouldn’t have eaten it. But I just moved on. Here’s the stats for today:
Well, I’m back from “vacation.” I got back late Friday night. And, as you can see, I have been too busy to blog. I have so much I want to say and I had this wonderful post written in my head, but, as I sit down to write this, I realize I have less than six minutes before I must be in bed, so I can defy diet enemy #1 tomorrow. Don’t you hate how time seems to run away from you? There was so much I wanted to do tonight, and I was excited, energetic, and motivated, but I still couldn’t get even half of it done. By the time I worked out and ate dinner, I only had an hour left.
Anyway, “vacation” (a.k.a directing a week long camp with 80+ girls ages 12-18) was absolutely wonderful. This was the third year for the camp, and I think it was the best yet, and although I came home completely exhausted, it was such a spiritually uplifting and encouraging week. Anyway, as far as the “diet” front goes, I guess I did okay. Not great. Not terrible. Just okay. I gave in to some things. I stood up to some things. I was proud of myself for bringing some of my own food to camp and eating that instead of the food that was prepared for us at camp. (By the way, you may thinking, what’s the big deal about camp food? I know some people have memories of camp food not being all that good. Well, we got to bring our own kitchen staff to the facility, so the food was wonderful! Delicious, home-cooked type meals three meals a day – we’re talking mashed potatoes from scratch (swimming in butter of course), chocolate eclair cake, homemade chocolate chip cookies, parmesan chicken, homemade lasagna, homemade breadsticks, and the list goes on! The week before camp I did not do so well, if you recall, and the week before that was starting to get a little shaky. Well, all told, I gained 1-2 pounds, and I’m honsetly thrilled with that. Last year at camp, I gained nearly 5 pounds. My weight has been fluctuating a lot, so it’s hard to say exactly, but it won’t take me long to undo that damage. And I’m feeling remotivated to really kick things into gear and give it all I’ve got for the final four weeks of the biggest loser contest. I’m absolutely determined to get to my goal of 10% for this contest (I’m at 7% right now).
Okay, so for today’s battle fo diet enemy #1 which is tiredness. We really had it out today. I would say it ended in a draw but we both definitely lost some ground. I still haven’t gotten my sleeping schedule back to being at all normal after camp, so this afternoon at work while sitting and staring at a computer screen I got extremely tired to the point that I was literaly falling asleep at my desk. (I know that being an engineer designing nuclear power plants might sound a little bit exciting, but, trust me, it’s really not – it involves a lot of staring at a computer screen doing completely non-technical things.) Anyway, to keep my awake I hit the vending machine. First, it was a bag of skittles for 250 calories. Then I went back for a think of creme filled cookies for 210 calories. Then I went back for a thing of mini choc chip cookies for 280 calories – but wait, I opened that bag, had one of the tiny cookies, and finally stopped myself. This was ridiculous. I couldn’t let Mr. Tiredness win. Being exhausted is no excuse for consuming thousands of empty calories.
Anyway stats for today. Obviously the vending machine fiasco didn’t help things:
Well, my weigh-in yesterday was not so good – up half a pound.
Then yesterday and today weren’t so good eating and exercising wise. I have a few excuses, but none of them are all the good. I mean, they are valid excuses, but if I were super motivated, I would find a way anyway. I think the not-s0-great weigh-in combined with colossal fear of how many pounds I will gain on this vacation have just taken the wind out of my sails.
I’m trying. I really am. I WILL NOT gain back this weight that I worked SO HARD to lose just because I’m gone to camp for a week. That would be ridiculous. Ridiculous. Not gonna happen. I WILL NOT do it. I know I can’t exercise and I can’t count calories, but I WILL NOT eat junk food. I WILL avoid the temptations that will abound. And I WILL NOT be afraid eat well.
Anyway, due to the upcoming vacation, I won’t be posting until Saturday, July 25th.
Well, I’m just crossing my fingers for a good weigh-in tomorrow. I really don’t know what to expect. I’ve been hovering around the same weigh , up-and-down about half a pound, since the last weigh-in a week ago.
But at least today was finally a good day. See:
This is post number 200 for me. You’d think I’d be writing some really encouraging post about how I’ve been doing so well and what not. Well, in the way of reflection, I’ll just say this. I am 21.2 pounds lighter than I was when I wrote post number one. That’s an average of 0.106 pounds/post – sounds like I need to get posting!
Anyway, there is really no excuse for my (dieting/exercise) behavior lately. None. Last week was a little rocky although I was still hanging on. It was the first week in a long time that I only worked out 3 times and didn’t meet my 225 minutes of exercise goal, although I did come fairly close. I bought that whole one pound box of chocolates. I skipped several days of the food journal. Sometimes I feel like once I get to the end of the day, I’ve eaten what I’ve eaten, so what good is journalling it going to do? I read almost no blogs and only posted a couple times. Although I was still trying to exercise and still eating okay-ish. Well I did even worse Sat, Sun, and yesterday. I skipped the workouts on Saturday and Sunday for absolutely no good reason – I just couldn’t motivate myself to do it. Then, I made a batch of cookies Saturday night. I was just really in the baking mood. Luckily I gave most of the cookies away but of course I ate the rest (in both dough and baked form) throughout the course of Saturday evening, Sunday, and Monday (yesterday). They’re gone now. I didn’t journal at all. I don’t know how many I ate, but somewhere in the 10-20 neighberhood. My calorie counts wouldn’t have been too horrible if I were journalling because I didn’t eat all that much else besides the cookies. I did, however, make one good decision yesterday. Despite being just completely exhausted nearly to the point of tears -you know, where you’re so tired, you just feel like you’re actually going to cry for no reason? But I exercised anyway. I went to the Y and went to my spinning class – burned nearly 500 calories! It was good for me to do something like that even though I wasn’t feeling good and even though I wasn’t having a very “on track” day.
The natural question is why have I allowed myself to do poorly this past week when I have been doing SO well and losing SO much weight? Well, first of all, I think I am suffering a little bit of burnout. I’ve been at it really intensely for six weeks. It’s natural to get a little burnt out. Also, I haven’t been taking hardly any time to do things that motivate me and help me refill that motivational tank – like reading blogs, posting on my blog, creating graphs, having discussions about it, etc. The other reason for this episode is that I have been so busy with so many other things lately that I just don’t have the time and energy left to focus on my weight loss. But the thing about weight loss is this – there’s always going to be some urgent thing to get done that’s going to compete with my weight loss effort. Always. No immediate consequence is going to come if I skip a workout, or don’t take the time to measure or log my foods, or if I don’t read motivation blogs, etc – but other things competing for my time do have those immediate consequences. I need to refocus and realize that, yes, many of those other things are extremely important and a lot of them really must be done, but my health is too important to put by the wayside. I might not be able to give it 100% of my focus every day or every week, but I can and will give it the focus it deserves. One more thing about why I’ve done poorly the past week: Camp is coming up next week, and I know I won’t be able to exercise or count calories and high carb, high sugar, high calorie temptations will abound, and so I’m so afraid I’m going to undo some of the hard work I’ve done to this point. And it’s already starting to effect me now. That’s ridiculous. Yes, that week may be difficult. I’m going to do the best I can, of course, but something of a gain might be unavoidable, but that is absolutely no reason to give up NOW! I can still exercise now. I can count calories today. I can lose as much weight as possible until I leave on Saturday. I can and I will.
Okay, so on to what I’m doing now. First, I got a good night’s sleep which always helps a lot. I got up to go do my spinning workout, was up for about 15 minutes and was still tired, so I went back to bed. Now I feel much better, much more energized, and much more motivated. I will instead workout on the elliptical or possibly with a Cathe step DVD after work today. I made myself a healthy breakfast and I’ve already started logging my foods for today. As you can see, I’m blogging, and I’ve read a couple other blogs already. This afternoon, I’m going to take 15-20 minutes to sit to and write out a prioritized to-do list so I feel more in control for the rest of the week and so I know what I really need to get done and what can be left undone. Trust me, the “undone” list will be long. But this way I can focus my energies on my weight loss goals without worrying that I’m neglecting other things that have to be done.
So, forgive the cheesy, 80’s title – I don’t know what’s gotten it to me, but we have a lot to catch up on, and we’ll get to the calorie blastorama later.
First, I can’t believe I haven’t blogged since Tuesday, I think. Weigh-in was Wednesday, and, yet again, I about fell over when I saw my two pound drop on the scale. (I’d been nearly the same all week.) Somehow my body magically knew it was official weigh-in day. Of course, I was sure it was a fluke, and it’d come right back on the next day, but it hasn’t! I lost 1.1%, and am still solidly in the lead in the Biggest Loser Competition.
Now, I must confess. On Tuesday evening, I gave in and bought a ONE POUND box of assorted dark chocolates. Delicious! Probably around 2200 calories in the whole thing. Oh well, it’s gone now thanks only to yours truly. The thing that may astound you is that I did exercise a lot of self control in eating the chocolates. I really did. Also I didn’t eat the ones that contain nuts because I didn’t like them, so that saved a few calories. Plus, and I know that this is not really healthy or advisable at all, but I skipped dinner in order to eat the chocolates. Sometimes, you just need chocolate, you know? All told, I’m pretty sure a couple days I ate about the number of calories needed to maintain my weight, but nothing way over or anything. So I didn’t gain anything or anything like that. Oh, and did I mention that the box of chocolates cost $20? Poor budget. But they were worth it.
Okay, another confession. In addition to the box chocolates, I didn’t work out on Tuesday or Wednesday. I have some fairly decent excuses, and I did walk for about an hour on Wednesday (but I don’t count just walking as working out although I do think it’s a good thing to do). I also didn’t journal my foods for two or three days. But again, I didn’t go wildly off track or anything. Just took it easy and was much less intense.
But, I’ve got my intensity back and I’m gonna make these next 8 days before camp some really good days, so I can be ahead of the game, since I know I won’t be able to lose a lot at camp.
Oh, and so this morning, I did about 10-20 minutes on the elliptical and then went to an awesome spinning workout, and burned a total of 700 calories! What a great way to start the morning. And my graph for today looks stellar. I’m posting it now, and I don’t think I’ll eat anything else tonight: