Finally!!!

So, last Monday I had this wonderful post about how I had been doing poorly, gained a few pounds, but I was ready to turn things around. And I promised a daily blog post. I delivered on Tuesday, but never again. Well, I failed, miserably. I did lose 0.2 pounds last week, but it was through no fault of my own. Here’s the thing, the longer I continue in my unhealthy ways (avoiding most exercise, eating lots of sweets, not blogging, not counting calories, etc) the harder it is to start back up again and really get going wholeheartedly. I kept on trying last week, but never really could get over the hump. Imagine trying to ride a bike up a huge hill, and once you get to the top of the hill the road levels out – you still have to keep pedaling to keep yourself going at the top, but it’s so much easier. But it takes so much effort to get to the top of that hill. And the longer I’ve been doing poorly, the higher that hill is. It’s like I’ve started to go up it several times, put forth temporary effort, gotten a little ways, only to roll back down to the bottom. Last week, I started out okay on Monday but messed up with several trips to the vending machine. Tues mornign started out okay, but I didn’t end up making time for exercise, which really got me down. Wednesdsay morning I had the best of intentions, but I felt like I’d already lost the battle before I had even begun. Didn’t even try much on Thursday. Friday morning got on the scale and literaly cried. Yes literaly cried. I quickly composed myself because I had to get to work. But, seriously, all morning I was on the edge fighting back tears. How ridiculous is that? And I’m not a particularly emotional, cry-y person. I’d gained another couple pounds (in retrospect that 2 pound gain was nothing, and was just a little fluctuation – it was gone by the next morning. Struggled through Friday. Didn’t help that I literaly didn’t have time for exercise, as in there was no possible way to even make time for it with what all I had going on Friday evening. Well, Saturday I got remotivated and started out with a bang. Got up, worked out, went and bought healthy food to take to brunch that was full of high carb, high fat, high sugar food. Ate the healthy food, avoided the junk. But then there was dinner with a big group at a friend’s house. I avoided the pizza and had soup instead. But the desserts! A Schawn’s ice cream cake and this toffee trifle chocolate dessert that is absolutely wonderful and packs close to 500 calories a bite! So what do I do? I have a real small portion of each. Well, unfortunately that was just enough to whet my apetite and so I had more. The majority of occasions when I’m doing well with my diet/exercise, I can avoid those temptations, but I just wasn’t strong enough Saturday night. If I had it to do over again, I don’t think I would not have even gone to the friend’s house for dinner. Like I say, there are times when I just can’t handle it. I need to recognize those times and not feel guilty about completely avoiding the temptation in the first place, if that’s what I need to do.

Anyway, all of that to say, I have FINALLY crested the top of the hill! I had a stellar day yesterday and today is going great. Also, my attitude is completely different. I feel much more like I’m really gonna make this time. And today has gone well so far. This weekend does promise to be a huge challenge, but hopefully with four stellar days under my belt, I’ll have the motivation and confidence to do okay. I said in my post last Monday that I was worried that I had not really changed or learned anything in the past year. Well, I have learned some things. I really know much more than I did before what it takes for me to get and stay on track. I know more than anything that it’s my personal attitude and confidence level that makes all the difference. I know that much better than I did a year ago. So I know that I have a long way to go, but I have learned something.

So I’ll leave you with yesterday’s graph. As you can see, I did a decent amount of exercise.

Sep012009

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  1. #1 by Diane, Fit to the Finish on September 1, 2009 - 10:47 am

    I’m so glad that you are on your way again! I totally understand and relate to this post and could have written it myself.

    Your attitude is awesome, and I just know you will achieve your goals!

    I found that every day I made good choices made the next day a bit easier. Not perfect – but easier!

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