I’m done trying to lose weight!

Did I scare you?

Well, just read on…

Well, I have good news and bad news. We’ll start with the bad. This morning’s weigh-in was a real shocker. Somehow I’ve managed to gain 4.2 pounds in the last two weeks! While “trying” to lose at that! It was a real wake-up call, though, and made realize that I can’t “try to lose weight” anymore. It’s time to lose weight. I realized that my attitude, outlook, and even my vocabulary about weight loss has changed, and not for the better. I used to say “I’m losing weight.” Now I say “I’m trying to lose weight.” So, yeah, I’m done trying to lose weight, because I am losing weight. (At least I did until today.) About the 4.2 gain, yeah, I realize body weight fluctuates and that’s likely not all fat, but some of it is. And, this was the fact that really woke me up: I’m 3.6 pounds away from my all time highest weight where I was back in September 08 when I started this journey/blog. I won’t bore you with the details of how I felt realizing how much hard work I’d “undone,” etc. (By the way, it’s up 20 pounds from my low.) My clothes are really not fitting well at all. I have like 2 pair of pants I can wear to work and both of them are tight, but one pair is really tight! I’m afraid to wash them!

So I have changed my priorities and I am going to focus on the weight loss. I even turned a last minute invite, basically, to go workout tonight. How’s that for sticking to it? And today only had a minor eating mishap – a little run-in with the leftover apple crisp. But I will be eating none of it tomorrow (you better hold me it – and if I just don’t mention it all, well, you know what that means) and will opt for fresh apples instead – fat free, very unlike the apple crisp!

I feel like the line in the sand has been drawn. I will not buy new larger clothes. I will not gain another pound. I will not settle for feeling fat, out of shape, and miserable any more. The end. I experienced what it was like to feel in control when I first started this “journey” and I know it’s worth the little things that I “miss out” on when I’m living healthfully.

Also, I’m considering doing something healthy living related that I have truly NEVER done before or anything like it. It would be a leap outside my comfort zone, but I really think it might be good for me. And I feel it’s time for something new in the weight loss arena. I haven’t told anyone that I’m considering it. I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow. Any guesses, though?

Here’s today’s stats:

And the food journal:

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  1. #1 by Keelie on January 26, 2010 - 10:21 am

    Sounds like you’ve got your attitude in check. Good for you. I know how it feels to undo all the hardwork you’ve put in–believe me! The only thing you can do is move on, which it sounds like is what you are doing. I just started (again) blogging abotu my weight loss. I hope you’ll stop by for a visit. I found you on Scale Junkie.

    Enjoy your day and your apple!
    Keelie

  2. #2 by Keelie on January 26, 2010 - 10:22 am

    this comment has the link to my weight loss blog..

  3. #3 by Sandra on January 26, 2010 - 10:55 am

    well, I don’t have a guess. But, I am curious. Will think about it and see if I can come up with any guesses.

  4. #4 by biz319 on January 26, 2010 - 12:45 pm

    Ha! We both said basically the same thing in each of our posts. I have just been “going through the motions” and it has to stop.

    No apple crisp for you today and I promise not to drink a glass of wine – check back with me tomorrow to see if I did it! 😀

  5. #5 by Weighting Around on January 26, 2010 - 5:49 pm

    Well, you’ve certainly taken the first step, haven’t you? As long as you keep that determination you will succeed! We’ll be right here cheering you on.

  6. #6 by Rebeca @All Vegged Out on January 26, 2010 - 10:09 pm

    Well, that’s a good goal. Just remember that our bodies are constantly shifting and one weigh in isn’t a deal breaker. I always gain weight one to two weeks and lose big numbers the other two, that’s just how my body works and I’m eating the same things! But your attitude is right on track 🙂

  7. #7 by Alixandra on July 15, 2010 - 11:35 pm

    How are you doing with the weight loss? Have you kept with it?

    In the past I’ve tried that less calories consumed than expended thing and it just didn’t work for me. I’m a hungry girl and I don’t want to feel dizzy, headachy, unhappy, or unfulfilled! I don’t know if you’ve ever tried South Beach but you should consider it! I tried it six years back when my doctor told me I needed to lose weight and it really helped. After some health issues I’ve slipped back to heavier than I want to be and I’m on my second day now! Consider it if you’re having trouble sticking with your diet. This one is so easy!

    Let me know if you have any questions and/or check out my blog!

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