Did I scare you?
Well, just read on…
Well, I have good news and bad news. We’ll start with the bad. This morning’s weigh-in was a real shocker. Somehow I’ve managed to gain 4.2 pounds in the last two weeks! While “trying” to lose at that! It was a real wake-up call, though, and made realize that I can’t “try to lose weight” anymore. It’s time to lose weight. I realized that my attitude, outlook, and even my vocabulary about weight loss has changed, and not for the better. I used to say “I’m losing weight.” Now I say “I’m trying to lose weight.” So, yeah, I’m done trying to lose weight, because I am losing weight. (At least I did until today.) About the 4.2 gain, yeah, I realize body weight fluctuates and that’s likely not all fat, but some of it is. And, this was the fact that really woke me up: I’m 3.6 pounds away from my all time highest weight where I was back in September 08 when I started this journey/blog. I won’t bore you with the details of how I felt realizing how much hard work I’d “undone,” etc. (By the way, it’s up 20 pounds from my low.) My clothes are really not fitting well at all. I have like 2 pair of pants I can wear to work and both of them are tight, but one pair is really tight! I’m afraid to wash them!
So I have changed my priorities and I am going to focus on the weight loss. I even turned a last minute invite, basically, to go workout tonight. How’s that for sticking to it? And today only had a minor eating mishap – a little run-in with the leftover apple crisp. But I will be eating none of it tomorrow (you better hold me it – and if I just don’t mention it all, well, you know what that means) and will opt for fresh apples instead – fat free, very unlike the apple crisp!
I feel like the line in the sand has been drawn. I will not buy new larger clothes. I will not gain another pound. I will not settle for feeling fat, out of shape, and miserable any more. The end. I experienced what it was like to feel in control when I first started this “journey” and I know it’s worth the little things that I “miss out” on when I’m living healthfully.
Also, I’m considering doing something healthy living related that I have truly NEVER done before or anything like it. It would be a leap outside my comfort zone, but I really think it might be good for me. And I feel it’s time for something new in the weight loss arena. I haven’t told anyone that I’m considering it. I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow. Any guesses, though?
Here’s today’s stats:
And the food journal: