Archive for March, 2010
I’m very happy to report a loss for my first week on WW! Unfortunately it wasn’t a big loss but at least I didn’t suffer the embarrassment of a first week gain as I had feared. I lost .8 lbs. If I can follow that up this week with a solid 1.5 to 2 lb loss, I’ll feel good about it.
I did get a long workout yesterday – about 80 minutes on the elliptical, although not too intense.
Did fairly well eating wise yesterday. However, today was a completely different story. Started out very well. I actually slept in a lot more than I have in months – until 9:30! I needed it, though. By the time I got up and got my shower it was almost time for lunch, so I just ate what I considered lunch – an omelet with a can of green beans. The challenge came when a group of people went to eat at Cici’s (all you can eat pizza buffet) after church. I thought about not going, but I didn’t want to be antisocial and my husband wanted to go. Cici’s does not post nutritional information (although you can certainly make some educated guesses). Also their food is fine, but nothing great, so I just hated to waste a whole lot of calories on it. It just would have taken a lot of calories for me to fill up on their pizza. I was hoping they would have some salad and I could just eat that. Well, they did, but they had nothing good to put on it (no cheese, no meats, I don’t like dressing at all), so I just got a huge plate of lettuce. I ate one bite of the lettuce, but plain lettuce just isn’t good. So I didn’t eat anything else – waste of money, but at least it was only $3.99. Next time I’ll know just not to eat at all so we don’t have to pay for me. Anyway, I have to admit, I was feeling a little sorry for myself, because all the other skinny people I was with could eat however much pizza they wanted without worrying about it and without gaining any weight. I know, it’s a bad attitude that doesn’t help me at all, but every once in a while I just start feel the frustration. So, by the time I got home from the restaurant, it was 5pm, I had 18 points left for the day, and I was all set for an awesome day food wise. So, what did I do?
I notice the very, very, very high calorie leftover cake that I made yesterday because we were having company over for dinner. It was in a tupperware container on the counter. And I say to myself, “Oh, I’ll just go have one bite.” Of course one bite turned into another and another and another and so on. Of course, I never actually ate a whole piece of cake, because I took the edge of each piece of cake, so it felt like I was eating much less than I was. And, of course, I walked away from it and then went back to it a couple minutes later again saying “just one bite” that turned into many. (Didn’t I learn something the first time.) By the time all was said and done, I was left with a bunch of completely butchered pieces of cake, and I had no way of even knowing how much cake I had eaten, but I think it was a lot because I had been hungry and wasn’t hungry at all any more. I was so, so, so mad at myself, because I should have known better. This is what I’ve done a thousand times to completely ruin my weight loss efforts. I did throw the rest of the cake in the trash, because I know the husband won’t eat it, and I sure don’t need it. Instead of completely throwing in the towel, I took a guess that I had eaten a quarter of the entire cake (again, wild guess, could be more, could be less), logged it in my food journal (33 points, or 1500 calories, yikes!), and moved on. Well tried to move on. It’s still really, really bugging me and I’m still so mad at myself. I wish I could take it back. And I so should have known better and all the warning signs were there! I really do need to move on, though, because continuing to be mad and frustrated and feeling hopeless will only make it harder for me to stay on track the rest of this week. By the way, I’ll need to be on my toes food-wise the rest of the week because today’s incident used up most of my flex points. Okay, so now I’ve put in my food journal, I’ve blogged about it, and, yes, I do feel badly about it, but I just need to forget about it and move on. I wish I could say I will use this experience to learn and I hope that I will and I plan to, but it’s happened 800 times before and I should have learned from all those times.
To leave you on a happier note, I made a new smoothie tonight that I was super tasty and I’m considering buying a really nice blender. Also, I’m super excited about this week’s menu plan. I’m going to try a new thing where I put tilapia with some seasoning and some frozen veggies in a foil packet and bake it in the oven.
Friday is almost over and tomorrow morning I’ll be back to my WW mtg to see how I did on my first week. I have to admit, I’m getting a little nervous because I think it would be really awkward/embarrassing not to have a loss (or, worse, a gain) on your first week. The receptionists are so used to seeing a huge number that first week and everybody does well their first week, you know? Well, I have a couple strikes against me. For one, I’ve never been one of those lose five pounds the first week kind of people. My body just doesn’t lose that fast even the first week. Second, I wasn’t exactly losing weight before last week when I started, but I wasn’t exactly off a diet (or, um, what are you supposed those things now? healthy eating plan? Does that sound better?) either. So my body didn’t undergo the drastic changes that most people do in their first week. Third, I ate all of my flex points plus almost all of my activity points in addition to having several lose point estimates.
Which brings me to my next point. Why am I so worried that I won’t have lost since I’m a daily weigher? Well, I ditched that to do, because, as you can easily guess if you read yesterday’s post, that wasn’t working for me, was it? Figured if I’m gonna do Weight Watchers, I’m just gonna do it their way and quit thinking that I know better. Because while I theoretically do know more about myself – well, it wasn’t working for me! Now I’m rather shaky on this decision to stop weighing myself daily – I really don’t know if I can psychologically handle a weekly weigh-in. So I’m definitely not promising to keep away from my bathroom scale, but I’m just gonna try the weekly thing for now. If it turns out to be a disaster or makes me a nervous wreck, I will fetch that bathroom scale right back out of the corner of the closet where I hid it and plop it right back on the bathroom floor where it belongs. I do think my Weight Watchers weigh-in will at least be pretty accurate, because I plan to wear the same thing each time (my workout outfit because I’ll go straight to workout from my WW mtg), I’ll eat the same thing before I go (omelet w/ cheese) and drink the same thing (a can of diet pepsi).
Today went fairly well. I wasn’t in the mood to workout but I made myself go anyway. It was kinda like a last chance workout except that I really didn’t work out too hard. I took it fairly easy, but did workout for an hour. I’m hoping to get a really, really good hard workout in tomorrow. I did get the munchies tonight after dinner when I was putting off going to the Y. Probably added quite a few calories – not smart. Nothing horrible, though. My major focus for next week is going to be curtailing those little calories that I sneak in. “Write it BEFORE you bite it” as they say.
Can’t wait to let you know how my weigh in went – hopefully I don’t come back in tears!
Well, for once, my lack of posting actually was not a bad sign! I’m perfectly on track with eating and exercise! (Ok, perfectly might be a bit of an exaggeration.) Anyway, to be honest, my lack of posting is due mostly to spending most of my few computer minutes reading blogs/forums about couponing. I’ve gotten some great deals lately, including some healthy things – like Dannon Light n Fit yogurt for less 10-20 cents, FiberOne yogurt 4 packs for 50 cents, Smart Ones frozen dinners for 67 cents!! Also, I used some of the money I’ve been saving and “splurged” a bit on some higher priced food items at Aldi – salmon, tilapia, mahi mahi, frozen fruit, a little fresh produce!
So back to my Weight Watchers story where I left off last Friday after stating some of the benefits I thought joining WW would bring me. I do want to take a moment to mention some of the more negatives:
- In the past it has seemed easier for me to simply count calories rather than points. I intuitively know the calorie count of most any food off the top of my head. I can guess portion sizes fairly well, although I almost always go ahead and measure to the nearest gram!
Bottom Line: my brilliant calorie counting plan wasn’t working! A change might be good for me and it’s basically the same principle.
- I also worried that following WW and counting only points, not calories, would make me end up eating a few extra calories. This is especially true if everything is round to the nearest whole point. (Some people do count in half point increments, and even WW online tools does this.) The calorie creep is also true if eating foods with a lot of fiber. For example if I eat, say, two 3 pt Smart Ones desserts in one day that actually have 170 calories each, I have eaten a total of 340 calories, but only counted it as 6 points, so that amounts to an extra 40 calories. I could go on about that. Same story with fiber. One cup of green beans = 40 calories, but only 0 pts because of the fiber. Well, I still have some concern about this but it can work both ways. The yogurt I eat is only 80 calories, but 2 points (no fiber in it). Also, I don’t try to intentionally manipulate the system. I count my fiber one yogurts as one point even though they’re 50 cals/4+ grams fiber, so technically zero points. Bottom Line: My brilliant calorie counting plan wasn’t working. And counting “points” is far better than nothing and a lot better than counting calories if I stick with it longer.
- It costs money. Bottom Line: My own free method sure wasn’t working for me (starting to see a theme, here?), and $40/month in the grand scheme of things isn’t gonna make one bit of difference for us. Maybe the paying money thing will actually provide some extra motivation.
- The meetings can be a little cheesy. Bottom Line: well, my on-my-0wn non-cheesy methods weren’t working for me. And it’s not like a little cheesiness is actually going to hurt me.
Okay, that said, back to where I left off last Friday. Well, as promised, I did go to a Weight Watchers meeting at 8am Saturday morning! The hardest part was working up the courage to walk inside. Really, the steps from the car to the door were the most difficult. I arrived fairly early because I gone to the grocery store first and couldn’t time things perfectly. I sat in the car for a few minutes, all that while thinking of a ton of excuses why this was a terrible and I should just drive away. Well, luckily I’d announced on this blog for both of my readers to hold me accountable! So how could I turn back?
Anyway, I walked in, and, of course, it wasn’t so bad. Everything went smoothly. Everyone was very nice. Got weighed in, got the first week’s materials, got a weekly food journal which I love. I got the monthly pass deal, which is $40/month deducted automatically, no registration fee, and includes the on-line WW etools. There were maybe 15-20 ppl at the meeting. There were some moments that were more on the cheesy side, but I did feel more encouraged after leaving.
One comment that a lady made really stuck with me. She was celebrating the fact that she lost four pounds that week. What was so special about this for her was that the week before she had a terrible week eating and baking and had a five pound gain. She said she knew before she came to the meeting that week that she had gained a lot, and she really didn’t want to come. She almost didn’t. But then she remembered someone saying that that was exactly the time when you do need to come. So because she came, she quickly got back on the wagon and followed her terrible week with a very good one.
That comment really touched me because I’ve been in similar situations. And she was so right – the key moment is after you have that bad week – do you let turn into dozens of bad weeks or do you get right back up?
Anyway, I’ve been food journalling faithfully this week. It hasn’t been too hard. I have, however, used up all of my flex points and dug into quite a few of my activity points. So I am a little worried. Parts of that were somewhat unavoidable, others were my fault. But for my first week, I’m not going to worry about it. It’s still allowed and I should still lose weight – just maybe not as much.
I’ll report back saturday after my meeting and weigh-in to let you know the results of my first week – that’s what you really wanna know, right – How much weight did I lose?
Sorry I’ve been MIA. Haven’t done so well the last few day. Exercise not so bad, eating not so good. I need to recommit. Does that sound like a broken record? It does to me. That’s about the way I’ve started my last several posts, which have been few and far between, in case you haven’t noticed.
Anyone, one thing is crystal clear here: something isn’t working. Something needs to change.
So I’ve made a decision, I think, although I have to admit I’ve done a lot of going back and forth on this one.
I’m officially joining Weight Watchers! Tomorrow morning I’ll be going to a meeting. Been thinking about this one for a while and it just feels like the right time. But here’s the thing: I fully realize this isn’t the “answer” to my fundamental problem. There is no weight loss plan or program on the planet for any amount of money that can possiby “fix” my eating problems. No plan that will keep me motivated all the time. That will give the confidence I need. Only I can do that. No plan that will make chocolate taste bad and celery sticks taste good. If there was such a plan, I’d be perfectly skinny already and so would Oprah.
Okay, so we’ve established that this isn’t really the “answer.” It won’t be magic. So why do I think it’s a good idea?
- This is something I have not done in a quite a while (I was in WW for a few months about 4 years ago.), and so it feels like a fresh start. I really need that. I really do.
- I really think that “official” ness of going to the meetings and having someone weigh me in will help me stay accountable. And I think the newness of the whole thing will give me at least an initial boost of commitment and motivation. And I need something. I do realize that will eventually wear off. Last year about this time, I joined a Biggest Loser contest that really, really gave the boost I needed. The boost didnt’ last forever but I can’t imagine where I’d be without it.
- I’m ready for the simplicity of the points thing and the simple, written food journal. The calorie counting does seem to be working so well. The problem is that I have this need to be so exact with the calories. The other problem is that I’m counting those calories on my computer program, so often I’m not at my computer until the very end of the day when I’ve already eaten everything. It’s hard to remember everything, and often I feel like, “What’s this gonna change or help? I’ve already eaten what I’ve eaten and it is what it is.” For the past few days, I’ve been taking a little index card with me in my purse and I’m able to journal on it as I go throughout the day. That is so much easier to keep up with.
Later this weekend, I’ll post letting you know how the first meeting went – it is scary to walk in all by yourself. You better keep me accountable to actually walk through those doors! I can see myself driving there and being too scared to go in!
And I’ll also tell you about my concerns and reservations.
Wow, after a rough few weeks weight wise, I feel like I am finally back on track. The end of winter is in sight, and we’ve actually had a couple nice days – that always helps me feel hopeful. I really have no excuse. I’ve just kinda been hanging on by a thread and have just been maintaining even though I have a whole lot to lose. Been doing fairly well with the workouts – not so much with the food. I’ll have a couple pretty good days, followed by a couple okay days, followed by a couple of really bad eating days. This coupled with some serious amounts of exercise results in maintenance. I suppose, given my history, even 5 weeks of maintaining is progress? I’ve really slacked off on reading other blogs. That never helps – makes me feel like I’m alone in this. Also have only post a couple times a week on here at best. Nothing to keep me accountable. Well, that’s changing. This week, I have committed to, NO MATTER WHAT, log my food to the best of my ability even if I have to guess on calorie counts or amounts eaten, and blog at least short little post each day.
That said, today didn’t go quite as well as I wanted food wise, but it was okay. The things I ate that I probably shouldn’t have were:
- 100 calorie piece of bread as soon as I got home from work even though I was going to eat dinner five minutes later
- The 100 calorie pack of cookies right after dinner, for no reason, they were just there
- The 170 calorie chocolate bar in the afternoon at work was questionable
Here’s my stats for today:
- Cals eaten: 1657
- Cals burned through exercise: 445
- Net cals: 1211
Well, things have gone okay since I recommited Wednesday. Yesterday I didn[‘t get to update because I got home so late. I also didn’t have time exercise, unfortunately. Today, I did work out for 50 minutes. Here’s the stats:
Calories eaten: 1700
Calories burned through exercise: 400
Net cals: 1300
Just a quick update here to say sorry that I’ve been a little MIA. I’ve been doing really well with my working out – five days a week, decent sessions each time. But not so good with my eating. The result: maintaining my weight when I want/need to be losing! (I’m down three pounds total.) However, today I recommitted to food journaling which I had not been doing, and also to daily blogging.