Archive for May, 2010
Week 2 Results
I’ll get right to what I’m sure you’ve all been dying to know. How much did I lose in week 2? 1.8 pounds for a total 4 pounds! Awesome! This time my body has been cooperating with actually losing the weight, and it’s wonderful. I really think a lot of intense exercise really helps – even more than the calories burned would theoretically indicate. (Also, I’m sure I underestimate just to be on the safe side.)
Yes, Another Diet Disaster
Yes, readers, I’ve experienced yet another complete diet disaster today. This time it was a battle with Little Debbie. I’d like to say it was a fierce battle and I fought hard. But it wasn’t. It wasn’t even much of a fight. I was total wimp and just let Little Debbie take it out on me. But don’t worry, next time I’ll show her who’s boss. Anyway, yesterday I made a couple little mistakes, but nothing too bad, and came out about even calorie wise. Today all throughout the day, I did really well. Really well. Overcame an intense case of Monday morning munchies. No afternoon snacking. All was well. But it was a long day. Got off work later than usual and went straight to Target. Lost my brain for a moment and grabbed some Little Debbies along with all the ingredients needed for S’Mores that they had conveniently displayed together. So in the car on the way home I consumed two packages of Little Debbie cakes along with one Hershey bar. The Little Debbie packages were 310 cals each and the Hershey bar was 210 cals, for a total of 830 mindless, useless, non-filling calories that I didn’t even enjoy. I felt icky and unbelievably mad at myself for allowing 5 mins of weakness to ruin all the good I’d done during the day, which brings me to my next point.
The Make It or Break It Point
It’s now that I’m really at the make it or break it point, and tomorrow will be the most crucial day. I’ve been doing well for a couple, weeks – eating well, exercising, losing weight, all that good stuff. And today was the first day I did something really pretty bad eating wise. And the first day that I actually consumed more calories than I burned, resulting in a calorie surplus. This is, of course, discouraging. However, in the grand scheme of things, the 500 calorie surplus I had today isn’t a big deal. It won’t cause me to gain back the four pounds I’ve lost. It won’t prevent from having great calorie deficits the rest of the week and still having a weight loss this week. But, so often in the past I’ve let the discouragement I’m feeling over my mistake lead me to give up. That nasty all-or-nothing mentality. That “I’ve already ruined it, what’s the use trying?” thinking. But I won’t let that happen this time. Tomorrow I will pretend like today’s little incident never happened. And I won’t try to have a super humongous calorie deficit to make up for my mistake.
So I had another awesome workout today. I didn’t have a lot of time. It was one of those situations where on the surface it looked like I just didn’t have a way to fit it into my schedule for today, but I made it work. Because of time shortage, I did workout DVDs. Started with Cathe Friedrich’s Rhythmic Step and then did her STS Shock Cardio 40/20 HIIT (high intensity interval training). It was seriously high intensity. I thought I wasn’t going to make it, but it felt great after I was done! I’m still feeling those endorphins.
Food wise, I did okay, but not great. Ended the day around 1900 calories, and I estimate that I burned at least 500 through exercise, for a net of 1400. My mistake came in eating a total of four Kashi cookies (130 cals each – so over 500 cals worth). I had two for lunch and two on the way home from work. I was so mad at myself for gobbling the two on the way home from work. One of those, “If only I could turn back time and not eat them” moments. I wasn’t even too upset about the two for lunch but the two in the car on the way home from work were totally unnecessary and I wasn’t even hungry. It was just five minutes of weakness. However, I did stop after two, so that’s something. The worst part about the incident is not that I consumed 260 extra calories – that’s really no big deal. It’s the guilt I felt about it that led me to start down the destructive path of “Oh I blew it, may as well give up.” Why bother exercising – you already blew it. Why not just eat whatever you want for dinner – you’ve already had too many calories. However, I recognized that thinking, and I was able to reason my way out of it. However, I still had the negative emotions hanging around – can’t really reason my way out of that. But the exercise really helped put those emotions back on a positive track. I think that’s real progress – in the past I may have turned the day into an exercise free calorie fest just because I made one little mistake.
That cherry almond cookie from the vending machine that’s been haunting me – it’s gone! They replaced with something else that I don’t even like. Yeah, I beat the cookie!!!
Do you bloggers ever feel really inspired to write throughout the day, but by the time you sit down post late in the evening you forgot what you were inspired to post about or you’re just not in a writing mood?
So, do you wanna know the secret to how to keep going on the elliptical for 7.8 miles in 86 minutes without it seeming like a dreadful chore? That’s easy, get engrossed in an hour long TV show after you’ve already been on it for a few minutes! I really had only planned to workout for an hour, but I was watching a cake decorating contest on food network and really wanted to see the outcome. The calorie readout said 900, but they’re always high. I’m counting it as 700 calories. My batteries are almost dead in my Polar heart rate monitor. I’ve only had it for a year, and you can’t really replace the batteries. You would have to send it in to the company and have the original packaging and receipt and paying money and shipping. Bummer. And they cost about $85. So needless to say I didn’t use it today. Anybody know of a better brand that you can easily change the battery?
Also, my eating today was pretty much perfect!!! I fought the snacking urge and won! I did bring a couple snacks to work and ate those, but no other snacks. I also did snack on for “roasted” marshmallows (by broiling in the oven – delicious and under 100 calories!!) Still thinking about the stupid cherry almond cookie in the vending machine though. I did notice that there is only two left, so hopefully they’ll be gone soon, and they usually restock those with something different. I will confess, however, that I did almost give in a few times, and probably would have eaten it if it weren’t for the fact that I was worried my coworkers would notice me eating a cookie and think, “No wonder she has weight problems.”
Final stats for the day were 1181 cals eaten, 706 burned through exercise, for a net of 476 calories!! And I wasn’t even overly hungry. If only every day were like today! And for the record, before anyone thinks I’m going into starvation mode, I don’t purposely try for that low of net calories, and typically it’s not that low. My approach is to look more at my average calories for the week instead of worrying about each day. Some days are really low like today and others are much higher.
I have to say, it’s unbelievable how quickly the evening goes by. I had totally planned to workout today, but, before I know it, it’s 9pm and I’m exhausted (get up around 5:30), which reiterates the fact that I need to workout first thing when I get home from work or this type of thing is likely to happen. However, instead of worrying about it, I opted not to eat anything else for the evening and go to bed a little early. I did log my foods for the day and ended up at 1591 calories – not stellar, but still low enough to stay on the losing path. I am redoubling my commitment to exercise the rest of the week, because exercise is SOOO critical for my weight loss. My goal is five times a week, and I can still make that this week. Part of the reason the evening went by so fast is that I tried a new healthy recipe, which turned out well, but took a while to make and clean up after.
A couple moral victories to report: first, those Hershey’s miniatures that I ate too many on Monday. Well, they were still in my desk drawer today. I ate 3 this morning, and I threw the rest in the trash. I just didn’t want to fight the temptation any more, and there were only a few left.
Next, I don’t know about you, but if there is a dessert or food that I’ve never had but looks good to me, I feel like I HAVE to have it. Like it’s some sort of once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and if I don’t get to taste it, I might miss out on some life-changing experience. How crazy is that? Monday as I was leaving work, I noticed a new item in the vending machine: a Chocolate Iced Cherry Almond Cookie – my favorite flavors all in a soft cookie in a unique way! I really, really, really love cherry, chocolate, and almond. Well, this morning, guess what? I didn’t even walk by the vending machine, but I had not forgotten about that new flavor of cookie!! It was on my mind. I really wanted it. A few times I came pretty close to giving in, but I didn’t. Whew! Made it all the way through the day without giving in! My life will be perfectly fine if I never get to taste that stupid cherry almond cookie with the chocolate drizzled on top. Part of me just wanted to give in and get it over with because I figured I eventually would anyway. Luckily tomorrow is pretty busy with meetings, but I have no meetings scheduled on Friday. I’ll just be at my desk by myself, which is when time seems to drag and I really get the munchies, and that stupid cookie will be calling my name again. If it were in my house I’d throw it away. I really don’t want to fight it all the time. But I’m bigger than the cookie. He won’t beat me!
Or better yet, don’t come again at all.
So a quick update for today. Started out so well. Then the munchies hit (something about sitting at a desk staring at a computer screen for several hours seems to trigger them). And I gave in. I munched. Because I munched by taking a little nibble here and a little bite there, I’m not really sure the quantities of what I ate, so I didn’t track my foods for the day. However, it was nothing horrible. I know I didn’t consume massive quantities of anything. I’d guess I probably ate maintenance calories or slightly above today.
However, on top of the munchie incident, the YMCA where I went to workout was closed so I couldn’t work out! I was really disappointed. As if that isn’t enough, one of our cars has broken down, and my husband needs the other car, so I won’t be able to go to the Y to workout tomorrow either. However, I do plan to do workout videos here at home, but I really love the step class at the Y on Wednesday, and I really wanted to do that. I can only take so many workout videos for some reason, and I already did a couple last night due to my husband needing the car. Hopefully I’m more in the mood for a workout dvd tomorrow.
The worst part about the day is that I’m still so insanely mad at myself for giving into my cravings and consuming too many calories. I wish I could take it back. I have a really hard time moving on from my eating mistakes. I have the hardest time when there’s no good excuse for it and when it something that I’ve done a thousand times before and can clearly see the warning signs. I just can’t let it go.
So I guess the goal for tomorrow is to faithfully log all my foods, leave my money in the car to force myself to avoid the vending machines, and to do a workout dvd even though I’m bummed about not getting to go the Y.
So I had grand plans of writing a fabulous, long post and letting out all my thoughts about my dieting disaster over the past few weeks, which I really need to do just for my own sake, if nothing else. However, as usual, the evening has flown by and it’s already time for bed. However, it was a fabulous and productive evening.
So for a quick update on the weekend. Friday I had no reason to eat poorly because we didn’t leave until after dinner, so I didn’t eat any meals outside of my control. However, I must confess, I ate too much junk – I think in part because I knew I wasn’t tracking, in part because of my looming fear that I would be forced to consume a bagillion calories the next day thereby ruining all my efforts anyway, and in part because it was Friday and I somehow thought candy and chips would make the time fly by (it doesn’t, by the way – all it does is make you feel fatter as you still watch the clock wondering if the end of the workday will ever come). Anyway, I didn’t just completely blow it, but I munched on a lot of extra goodies and had pizza for lunch. Saturday turned out to be okay eating wise, really. The family we stayed with had some relatively healthy foods available, so calorie wise I probably still had a deficit. Also, we hiked for three hours, so that burned some calories. And, really, I hard even thought about food or worried about it the whole weekend – wonderfully refreshing! And I did not overindulge despite the fact that I wasn’t obsessing over calories and weight loss and how to maintain my self-control – if only I could do that all the time!
Today went pretty well. Felt confident. After just a week of being more on track I am no longer feeling quite so enormous (all psychological, I clearly haven’t lost that much actual weight in one week) and not quite so completely hopeless. My overall calories eaten were 1421 with 500 calories burned through exercise (so net well under 1000). So calorie wise, that’s right on track. The only bad thing is where some of those calories came from – I had most of a bag of Hershey dark chocolate miniatures at my desk drawer leftover from Friday. And, well, I ate 15 of them – about 600 calories worth. And that was while trying to exercise some self restraint, believe it or not. Moral of the story which I already knew all too well: Don’t have snacks stored at the desk. But, like I said, I still feel good about the day. My workout was absolutely, incredibly intense. I didn’t have a fully functioning car available to me, so I did a couple workout dvd’s instead of going to the Y. I did a new one – Cathe Friedrich’s 40/20 HIIT (high intensity interval training) from her new STS Cardio. I was so worn out I by the end I almost lost the dinner I hadn’t eaten yet. But I felt so great. And that intense of a workout takes away my appetite as well (for a couple hours afterward, but it comes back with a vengeance – I’ll waking up extremely hungry in the morning.).
The Weigh-In Results
I’m calling last Monday my first official day of my new plan or whatever. So, for the first week I lost 2.2 pounds!
I know I haven’t posted in an embarrassingly long time. That’s because I got totally off-track, went back into all of my worst habits (the ones I really thought I’d left behind forever), and ended up back at my highest weight – where I was when I started these journey nearly two years ago. (However, before you feel too sorry for me, the past two years of the weight loss journey have been extremely slow and up-and-down so that’s only a total of 25 pounds gained, and that has come back on over a period of 8-10 months. The last 10 pounds have been really fast though.)
I have soooo much that I want to write about – some stories about the past few weeks, what I’ve learned, what I haven’t learned, my thoughts about how to proceed. In a lot of ways I’ve been at a loss on what to do next and how to really make this stick. But I have been “on plan” since Monday, although still feeling a little unsure about it. Also have a huge challenge these weekend where I’m going to someone else’s house that I do not know well enough to feel comfortable talking about how I’m trying to limit my calories and don’t feel like I know them well enough to take my own food to cook for myself. So I’ll be at the mercy of whatever is served. I’m not going to try to count calories. It would be too frustrating. I am bringing some apples along, so hopefully I can use those for snacks. Also, we are going on a 3 hour hike, so at least I will get some exercise in.
I really wish I had more time, but I’ve been really tired today which for some reason brings my ability to avoid the tempting treats way down. So I’m off to get a good nights rest. Hopefully I’ll have some time to really write a good post and get back in the blogging habit on Sunday evening.